How much do you know? Test your Transition Knowledge with this 4-question quiz.
According to some studies, we spend nearly half of our adult lives in a transition. Yet despite being intimately involved, we tend to know very little about them.
Bruce Feiler tried to change that when his life was turned upside down. Catalysed by a personal and family crisis, Feiler started the Life Story Project, which collected and analysed the life stories of hundreds of Americans from diverse backgrounds and circumstances. Feiler published the findings in the book, "Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age.”
The data revealed fascinating and unexpected patterns in how people navigate life transitions.
Here are some that I didn’t expect:
1. We go through transitions frequently
According to Feiler’s research, people experience a disruptive life event every 12 to 18 months. One in 10 of these are major changes he calls “lifequakes” —a forceful burst of change that leads to a transition.
Most of these lifequakes (67%) are caused by events outside of our control, such as the death of a loved one, job loss, or illness. Some are collectively experienced, like the COVID-19 pandemic or a natural disaster.
The rest (33%) are voluntary changes we choose, such as switching careers, relocating or ending a relationship.
2. Transitions may take years to complete
While some of us hope to complete our transition in a three-month sabbatical (or maybe that’s just me), Feiler found that lifequakes last 2 to 5 years on average.
Following the initial disruptive event, there is a lengthy period of adaptation and integration, which is when we can experience significant personal growth and change. The duration and intensity of lifequakes varies widely depending on individual circumstances, resources, and resilience.
3. Transitions are becoming more prevalent
People are living longer, changing jobs more often, and facing rapid technological advancements that continually reshape our careers. Social norms are shifting, making personal life changes like divorce or relocation more frequent. Economic instability and the gig economy are creating less predictable job markets, and globalisation means we're more mobile to travel for work, education or personal reasons. On top of that, a greater focus on personal fulfillment, self-development and mental health encourages us to make significant life changes to improve our well-being. All these factors make navigating transitions a more regular part of contemporary life.
4. Positive and negative causes of transitions are equally common
We often speak about negative prompts for transitions like job loss, divorce, or illness. But Feiler found that nearly half (47%) of lifequakes are driven by positive events such as marriage, having children, or career advancements.
This means that positive transitions can also be moments for tremendous personal growth – we don’t need to wait to have a negative lifequake to kickstart the process!
5. Transitions typically follow a 3-phase pattern
Like with stories, there are three main phases to transitions: the beginning, middle and end. However with transitions, the order is reversed and the ending comes first.
I. Stage One: Endings: This phase involves letting go, acknowledging and mourning the end of the old self or way of life. We might feel grief, loss or disorientation – even when it is a positive transition, or one that we’ve chosen.
II. Stage Two: Messy Middle: The middle section of a transition is marked by chaos, experimentation, and a sense of being "in-between" old and new identities. It is often the longest and most challenging phase, lasting from several months to years. During this stage, we might feel confused, uncertain, anxious, depressed and lost. But this is also the part of the transition process where significant personal growth occurs.
III. New Beginnings: In this phase, we start to emerge from the transition with a renewed sense of purpose, clarity, and direction. We form a new life narrative into which we integrate our experiences. We transform from a caterpillar into a butterfly!
But perhaps the biggest surprise is that…
Despite transitions being both universal and frequent, there isn’t enough formal support available to help with navigating them, to make the experience easier and less distressing.
While going through my own “lifequakes”, I poured through relevant books, podcasts and essays; consulted career and life coaches; and sought advice from mentors, friends and people who’d been through similar experiences. But I still struggled with the transition process, particularly with the ending and messy middle. I wish I’d had a guidebook and compass to illuminate the path ahead of me; and a group of people to talk to who were going through the same thing.
For these reasons, I’m so excited to share that I’m launching a course on Being In-Between – how to navigate career and life transitions with clarity, confidence and ease! It’s the resource I wish I’d had during my own transitions.
Why a class?
I believe that with guidance, we can minimise the feelings of uncertainty, stuckness and unhappiness. And we can maximise the opportunity for personal growth through the provision of an intentional space for reflection and targeted introspective questioning. Accountability helps too: by joining a community of other people who are also going through similar types of transitions, we can be inspired by other people’s experiences and feel less alone.
I’ve been working on the content of this course for four years, and it’s still a work in progress, but you can preview the topics we’ll cover here.
Design the course with me
If you’re currently experiencing (or have recently completed) a major life transition or “lifequake”, I’d love to hear about it! If you're open to a 20-30 minute chat on Zoom, please message me or schedule a time here.
What’s in it for you?
• Gratitude: It will help me out!
• Early access: Get a first look at content designed to support you through transitions.
• Influence the course: Your feedback will help shape a course supporting other people.
• Discounted pilot: A big discount on the course pilot.
The course launches in September 2024. If you're interested in joining or know someone who might benefit, please reach out! More info: https://www.being-in-between.com/
PS You might enjoy this podcast called A Slight Change of Plans, where Maya Shankar explores extraordinary stories of major life transitions including that of Christine Ha, who went permanently blind in her early twenties and went on to win the reality TV show Master Chef; Euna Lee, the Korean-American journalist who was held captive in North Korea for 140 days; and many more. Listen here.
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